


Insecurities

by Lupustrous



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4541949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lupustrous/pseuds/Lupustrous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abe lets his fears about his relationship out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to be ooc. Please let me know if I need to fix things or give me suggestions. :)

Abe stood on the front steps. He sighed. He knew it would help him let off some steam. His heart hurt so much right now. He had been carrying these heavy thoughts with him for a while now. They made him want to cry. It was beginning to affect his focus on baseball. That was the only reason he had asked to do this. Hopefully if he just talked about it he could focus again. He took a deep, steadying breath and knocked on the door.

"I was wondering if you would ever come in." Hanai said.

"Heh, believe it or not it's actually very hard for me to do something like this. I don't often let my feelings like this show." Abe breathed. 

The sadness in his voice made Hanai's heart clench. He never could have imagined that Abe felt this way. He always seemed the same at practice and in school. The only thing that was out of the norm was he had been brooding a whole lot more. He also hadn't had a temper outburst in a few weeks, which was an impressive record. Hanai looked carefully at the boy before him. Abe's shoulders were slumped a bit more that usual. As if carrying a heavy weight. His complexion pale, eyes with heavy bags and dark shadows. He even looked a bit thinner. Hanai realized that Abe needed to talk even more than the both of them knew. He motioned him in.

"Let's go to my room." Hanai suggested.

Abe nodded. As they climbed the stairs his chest felt both heavy and light. Heavy with the knowledge of what he was about to share, and light with the hopeful anticipation of some sort of relief. He was tired of feeling these things. Although they probably wouldn't go away, but maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe he could get himself together.

When they reached Hanai's room, Abe sat on the bed cross legged and Hanai shut the door. He heard a faint click, but ignored it. He took a deep breath letting it out slowly. Hanai sat opposite of Abe. Silence was all that filled the room for a long thirteen minutes.

"I....I want to talk about my relationship with Mihashi." Abe said, his voice wavering.

"I...I don't know if he...if he even WANTS to be with me! I think that he thinks I'll stop catching for him if he didn't date me, but I wouldn't. We've been dating for a year and he still can't say a full sentence without stuttering!" Abe's fists clenched as all his dark thoughts spilled forth. "He's STILL a-afraid of me! He-he....!" His eyes were brimming with tears. He couldn't hold in his emotion. He wanted to stop. Panic was starting to rise at the thought of his weakness, then warmth enveloped him. Hanai had done the only thing he could. He comforted Abe the way he comforted his sisters. With a hug.  
Abe felt his emotions swell. He gave in. Sobs wracked his body. He hadn't cried since he was six. Letting everything go Abe cried harder and harder.  
"He has to hate me!" Abe whispered. "No one is that uncomfortable with someone they like!" Abe was in a fetal position, leaning heavily into Hanai. "If he....I don't want to force him to...be with me anymore if...if he doesn't like me. I never want to force him! I just....I..." His voice gave out on him. His sobs slowed. Hanai spoke softly.

"You are not forcing him. Anyone can tell you that he shares the same feelings by the way he looks at you. You should talk to him. He might be thinking he's not good enough for you! Talk to him today."

Abe tensed. Silent. Slowly he nodded. Shifting and getting up he looked at Hanai.  
"I think that would be best." Abe agreed with a hoarse voice. " I have been avoiding him for the last week. I'm such a jerk!"  
They sat for an hour, resting after the emotional toll taken and shared. Abe stood from the bed and turned to Hanai.  
"Thank you for letting me talk to you....and cry on you..." He said blushing.  
"Anytime you need be I am here for you. What are friends for? And maybe you could do the same for me if I ever need it?" Hanai asked.

"Of course." Abe said with a small smile.

With that Abe left to Mihashi's home, texting Mihashi that he would be coming over first.

********Hanai's room*********

"Did you get all that, Yuurichirou?" Hanai asked.

"Yep and Mihashi heard all of it!" grinned Tajima.

"Now Mihashi will know why his catchers been avoiding him and we will hope Abe doesn't kill us when he finds out." said Hanai pleased with the plan that Tajima had made.

They smiled as they watched Abe pedal hard towards his boyfriend's home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mihashi wants to show Abe how he feels.

Mihashi pov

His phone had gone off early today. Tajima had called and told him to wait for a call on his house phone.   
"It's very important! Strictly!" the normally easy going boy said with all seriousness.  
"Okay!"Mihashi chirped.

About an hour later his phone rang. He jolted at the harsh break in the silence, but ran to pick up the phone.  
"H-hello?" He said breathlessly.  
"Now I need you to listen to what's about to be said. Just listen. You're about to learn why Abe was avoiding you." Tajima quickly informed him.  
"A-Abe-ku-!"  
"Sssshhhh! He's coming to talk to Hanai and I have a feeling you need to hear this so listen and be quiet, okay? This may help you understand him! Strictly! Here they come!" Tajima rushed.

He listened. The was silence before Abe's voice broke it. He wanted to talk about their relationship? 'Is Abe going to break up with me?! I knew it! I'm a bad boyfriend! He hates me! He's going to stop catc-'  
His negative thoughts stopped at the sound of a sob. 'Is....is Abe-kun...crying?!' He listened. 'No! Abe-kun! I don't hate you! No no no no no!!' He kept listening, both awestruck and horrified that Abe thought these things. Did Abe really thing that Mihashi didn't like him? That he wasn't worthy of him? Ice formed in his stomach. He had to fix this. He didn't ever want Abe to cry again. Especially because of him. His face grim with determination, he ended the call after Abe stopped crying. He was going to show his boyfriend everything he had been holding back. He gulped. This was probably going to take all his courage.  
Bzzzzzzt!!!

He jumped at the sound. Reaching for his phone he quickly scanned the screen. Seeing whom it was from he jammed the button to open the text. As he read the short message realization dawned upon him. He only had a few short minutes to prepare before Abe got here. He ran to his room to prepare.

********************  
Back to Abe pov

His calves and thighs were burning. Every breath he took felt dry and scratched at his throat that was already raw from crying. The wind stung his red eyes that were tender from tears. A small nugget of fearful anticipation grew each time one of his feet pushed down on the pedals. He was afraid, but he had to know. He had to know what Mihashi thought of him no matter what. Chest tight with fear and determination he pedaled even harder.

*******************************

Back to Mihashi pov

Everything was set. He was worried that he would be overstepping with this idea, but he wanted Abe to know just how much he was wanted-no NEEDED. He also had really wanted to do this to Abe for a while, but had been too scared to ask. 'What do if he doesn't-no! I am going to show Abe how much I want him!' Determination filled him to his very core. He would show Abe the best night of their lives. 

******************  
Back to Abe pov

He had finally reached Mihashi's house. He stood in front of it still holding his handlebars. His grip was tight. Sweat was dripping from every pore. He was frozen. He wanted to move forward as much as he wanted to run away. If he had not sent the text he would be turning back now. 'Oh yeah. I sent that text. Mihashi must be worried since I'm taking so long.' He put the kickstand down. 'I should really start moving right now.' He stared at the house. Hand at his sides. One step. Then another. As slow as he went he was in front of the door all too soon. He stood there for what felt like an hour. It could only have been five minutes though. His hand. He looked at it. 'Knock. Knock on the door, damn it! Why can't I raise my hand?' As his hand twitched to reach up and knock the door opened. 

Mihashi grabbed his wrist and dragged him up the stairs. He barely had even a moment to shut the door and take off his shoes. It was all instinct by now. As they entered Mihashi's room he was forcefully shoved into the bed. The air rushed out of him. He had just recovered when Mihashi pressed his lips firmly against his own. Caught by surprise he opened his mouth to say something, but Mihashi took that moment to slip his tongue inside. Abe felt two kinds of warmth rush through him. It felt wonderful. Mihashi had him firmly pressed against the bed. As they both started feel their lungs burn for oxygen Mihashi pulled back and stared lovingly into his eyes.  
"Tonight I am going to show you just how much you mean to me."

*************************  
Back with Hanai and Tajima.

"What do you think is going to happen?" asked Hanai aloud.

"I think that with what Mihashi heard from Abe he's going to finally act on all the things he's told me about." Tajima answered.

"What things?" Hanai inquired.

"Heh heh heh. Mihashi isn't as innocent as everyone thinks. Nor as submissive." Tajima said waggling his eyebrows.

"Y-you mean?" Hanai stammered.

"Yep! Their going to be living up to their team positions tonight!" Tajima laughed. "Now how about we get started, hmmm?"

Tajima jumped onto Hanai.

"Wa-wait! I'm not-!"

"Your parents and sisters won't be home tonight and don't say you don't want it. You've been hard for a full five minutes. You were hoping this would happen. Heh, never knew I'd find a handsome man as horny as me." Tajima teased.

"...ah whatever let's do it already.!" Hanai said giving in. He wasn't about to turn down a night with Tajima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I add another chapter with what Mihashi does? It is in Mature after all... Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mihashi does what he has wanted to do to Abe since their relationship had blossomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is some smut. It's not the best I've read but it is way better than the last chapter with the detail. I think I was rushing just to write this. This is my favorite part to write, but I have to work on the other parts for when I make more stories.

Quick flashback

******As they entered Mihashi's room he was forcefully shoved into the bed. The air rushed out of him. He had just recovered when Mihashi pressed his lips firmly against his own. Caught by surprise he opened his mouth to say something, but Mihashi took that moment to slip his tongue inside. Abe felt two kinds of warmth rush through him. It felt wonderful. Mihashi had him firmly pressed against the bed. As they both started feel their lungs burn for oxygen Mihashi pulled back and stared lovingly into his eyes.  
"Tonight I am going to show you just how much you mean to me."********(end flashback)***

Mihashi pressed his lips once more to Abe's, this one slow and sensual. Tender and filled with passion. It was making Abe feel as if he had those fizzy bubbles from a carbonated drink in his head. As Abe reached down to grip Mihashi's shoulders, he felt a nip on his lower lip. He cracked open his eyes to look at Mihashi. What he saw made his heart begin to race. Mihashi was looking at him with determined yet seductive eyes. As they continued to stare at each other during their make out session Abe felt strong calloused hands begin to slip under his shirt. He arched his back to make it easier to get off. A slight whimper escaping his throat when they had to separate to fully take off his shirt. He went in to claim Mihashi's once more only to be pushed down with a strong pitching arm. Confused Abe looked up from the hand in his bare chest into the coy seductive eyes of Mihashi as he slowly took off his own shirt.

Abe couldn't speak. The sight before him had to be illegal. The strong muscles that Mihashi had built up over the past year looked powerful. He watched as Mihashi also took of his pants and underwear. The socks seemed to have never been on. Abe reached down to start on his own pants only to have his hands knocked away with a growl from Mihashi. If he hadn't been so shocked at what Mihashi had done and so aroused at the fact that MIHASHI was doing it he would have laughed. Mihashi's growl sounded more like a disgruntled kitten. The thought of Mihashi with cat ears and a tail only made him blush as even more blood rushed to his already throbbing hard on.

Mihashi slowly clawed his hand over his erection through his jeans. He arched. He wanted to take his pants of and do Something, but it looked like Mihashi was taking charge which was HOT! A gasp rushed past his lips as Mihashi ran his hand firmly against it. He bucked trying to get more of the feeling. Mihashi pulled his hand away and Abe bit back a groan of frustration. He wanted to have more!

********************  
Mihashi thought process during this entire exchange.

'I am being so direct! I'm being too selfish! No! I have to show him how I feel! Oh please don't hate me after this! Okay. Just keep going keep going. Have to the part I've wanted most. Oh please don't hate me!'

**************  
Back to Abe 

'Please! Please more! I want you inside of me! Wait what?!'  
Abe's eyes shot open in realization. He wanted Mihashi inside of him. Maybe with the way Mihashi was acting, maybe it could happen. He groaned when Mihashi's hands finally unbuttoned his pants. Mihashi jumped a little but did not stray from his task. As his pants were pulled down his erection strained against his slightly damp underwear. His pants were off completely and thrown across the room in the next second. Mihashi pressed his nose firmly next to it and inhaled deeply. If it wasn't so damn Hot that Mihashi was doing this Abe was sure it would be torture. He sucked in a breath as Mihashi kissed his length from base to tip, flicking his tongue across the slit. His mind stopped all thought, submerging into the sensation and he tried to move his hips for more. He then felt Mihashi's wonderful hands ghost over his erection to the lip of his underwear. His hands pulled them down, down. It was so painstakingly slow that Abe didn't know if he could keep himself controlled for much longer. Finally, FINALLY he was free. 

Mihashi ghosted more kisses upon him, this time quickly going up to the tip. The moan that tore from his lips was embarrassingly loud, but it felt so GOOD! Mihashi then moved his pitching hand to slowly stroke him as his mouth went to one of his nipples nipping, sucking and massaging with his tongue. His other hand pinching and rolling the other. Electric sparks shot through him with the new sensations. He was panting hard and to his embarrassment he was writhing under Mihashi's touch. 

Abe's eyes shot open and he tensed at the sudden feeling of a slick calloused finger rubbing the rim of his entrance. Excitement and a little fear shot through him as the finger pushed slowly into him. It felt a bit strange but not bad or painful and he relaxed. Back into the feeling of his nipples being played with soon forgetting the finger. A second finger stretched him and was a little uncomfortable but it soon eased and began to feel good. He felt a pleasant burn when the finger scissored him. Then a third finger was added. He felt a bit more of the pleasant burning sensation, but it was a dull one. A jolt went through him and a cry of ecstasy escaped him when the fingers hit a certain spot. The fingers rubbed harder against the spot a few more times before pulling out. He blushed as a whine sounded in his throat from the feel of emptiness. He really wanted this to happen.

He looked up to see Mihashi staring at him with eyes full of lust and love as he spread the remaining lube on his cock already covered with a condom. He hissed with pleasure at the cool contrast.  
"C-can I enter you?" Mihashi asked although he didn't seem to be afraid.  
"Please...."Abe whispered, his voice filled with want and longing.

************  
Mihash pov

Mihashi had never seen Abe this way. He looked delectable. Mihashi just wanted to make him scream his name. He would to. He gently but firmly grasped Abe's hips. Lining himself up he pushed. It slipped up at first. Realigning he pushed slowly. Every so slowly as Tajima had told him to. They both hissed when his head made it through the tight ring of muscle. His grip on Abe's hips tightened. He wasn't expecting it to be this tight despite being told. He remembered Tajima saying that the feeling would almost make him forget to go slow. He had been right. 

A low groan poured from his lips as he fought the urge to slam into Abe. Centimeter by oh so slow centimeter he pushed into the tight heat. Finally he was in, but he didn't dare move as Abe got used to him.

***************  
Abe pov

The feeling of Mihashi's head pushing in sent a pleasurable burn, like the one had felt while being fingered, but much more intense along with a little bit of uncomfortable pain. He hissed. Breathing slowly and trying to keep his muscles as relaxed as possible he pulled his legs back and spread them a bit more to both open himself up and to help Mihashi relax. With how slow Mihashi was going (and Abe was so grateful for that) the pain just turned into the intense pleasurable burn that he was really beginning to enjoy. Finally he felt Mihashi's stomach and scrotum against him.   
'He's all the way in! He's inside me!' A grin spread across Abe's face at the realization. He felt so full! He looked up toward Mihashi whose head was tilted slightly back with his eyes closed in pleasure. Did it feel that good to be inside him? Abe tried to find his voice.

"Mihashi..."

Mihashi's eyes shot open and he looked down at Abe, worry beginning to enter his features.

"Move...?" It came out more like a questioning beg.

Mihashi nodded determined. He moved slow at first. Steadily going in and out. Abe was about to ask him to go faster when that familiar wonderful jolt raced through him. He shouted and arched.

"More Mihashi! Please! Faster!" He begged not even caring that he was begging anymore. Mihashi went faster without acknowledging that he had heard. Changing his angle a bit he began slamming into Abe's prostrate making Abe shout and moan. As he felt a warm coil in his stomach Abe tried to tell Mihashi, but Mihashi just started slamming harder. His breath coming out faster. A determined drive in his eyes as he sped up even faster. Abe let out his loudest shout as he came. A few moments later he felt a warmth in him. As Mihashi rode out his orgasm he sagged into the bed. It felt wonderful.

Mihashi then pulled out and tied the condom before throwing it away. He also grabbed a tissue and cleaned Abe off quickly despite his exhaustion. Then he coined next to Abe and curled up next to him. Abe's legs were sore from holding his position so long but it was so worth it. Mihashi planted a quick kiss on his lips before covering them up (Abe noticed that they must have been pulled down before all this had happened).  
'He must have prepared for this. I wonder why?' He thought as his mind drifted into the deep abyss of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end!!! I think I'll add one more chapter with Abe/Mihashi. Should I do a smut chapter with Hanai/Tajima?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. I know I take a while to update, but I will try to get sooner. This chapter was just not flowing lol. Enjoy!

The next morning Abe was having a wonderful wet dream. Mihashi was sucking on him and groping his rear halfway massaging it. He moved a bit half waking to let him get better access in the dream, but a firm hand held him down. He opened his eyes. It wasn't a dream. 

'Well this is nice.' Abe thought blearily. 'Wait....' Abe glanced at his phone. They didn't have practice today. They would tomorrow. He shifted about to speak to Mihashi when he caught those golden eyes looking up at him with a mischievous gleam.  
"Wha-ahh!" Abe was about to ask something but it was lost as pleasure consumed him when his pitcher, still massaging his posterior started to deep throat him. Squeezing his morning wood with his throat making him moan aloud. Abe's hand plunged into Mihashi's hair urging him on. He wasn't going to last much longer. 

"Ren, I...." Abe started weakly.

Mihashi gave a long hard suck before plunging down taking in Abe entirely. His tongue poking out a tiny bit, it flicked at Abe's bulging scrotum. Abe's eye rolled back as he came. Mihashi drinking it in, half choking a bit, but enjoying it all. As Abe started to come down from the high of his climax he felt Mihashi get up. Curious he lifted his head as Mihashi went to grab a tissue and blow his nose. Quirking an eyebrow he sat up. Mihashi turned and when he saw Abe's expression he giggled.  
"Some of your sperm got up my nose." Mihashi explained. "But it was worth it!" He added quickly.

Abe nodded surprised that Mihashi hadn't stuttered. In fact he looked more relaxed than he had ever seen him.

"I love you." Abe said blushing at his suddenness.

Mihashi looked at him and a wide beaming smile spread across his face as he launched himself at Abe.

"I love you too!" Mihashi chirped.

"Oof!"

"S-sorry did I hurt you?!" Mihashi scrambled back suddenly becoming self conscious.

'Oh hell no! We are not going back to you stuttering! I just got this far!'  
Abe grabbed him and pulled him into a messy passionate kiss. 

"No you didn't. You just surprised me and I like it." Abe admitted before Mihashi could apologize. Mihashi relaxed and squirmed happily.  
His squirming caused his own erection to rub against Abe's leg. He froze. Abe snaked his hand down to it. They were still nude from the night before. Slowly stroking Mihashi's length he pushed him down onto his stomach with his bottom raised. He slowly leaned in and licked the puckered hole. A twitch and muffled yelp was the reaction given to him. He smiled as he placed his hands on Mihashi's hips and pushed his tongue as far as it could reach. Tasting his perfect pitcher. He closed his eyes and ran his tongue in and out, twisting, and folding until his other half was a limp moaning mess. A stray thought of how he would be disgusted if it were anyone else flickered once and sank to his subconscious abyss.

He reached around to tease Mihashi's nipple and mentally laughed at the squeak he startled out of his pitcher. He loved how Mihashi had dominated him the night before, but that didn't mean he couldn't repay him. He was wonderful. He put up with his yelling, his hen pecking, and everything else. What he did to deserve him he would never know. He moved one of his fingers to reach for his pitchers prostrate. The shudder that was felt made him smile. 'My pitcher.' He thought. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Hanai groaned as he lifted the blanket over his head to block out the rays of the sun that were trying to burn his eyes out. A warm weight flopped on top of him pulling the blanket away.  
"Morning!" A chipper voice purred before a small peck was placed on his lips. He squinted at his beloved. If he didn't love him he would punch him for being such a morning person despite expending so much energy the night before.  
"Guess what?" said Tajima.  
"What?" asked Hanai blearily.  
"Your tea is next to you, fresh brewed." Tajima answered smiling.

This was yet another reason Hanai loved Tajima. He was romantic despite the fact that he loved to have a Lot of sex. Never in a million years would anyone think Tajima was a strong romantic. Though he often came into conflict with himself when equal parts wanted romantic evenings and a hard pounding. It happened often but Hanai was usually able to do both. That's what made them so perfect. Also Hanai had a higher sex drive than he let on, he had just had to keep a tight rein on his hormones before Tajima cam into his life.  
"Why do you like me?" Hanai blurted out. When he realized it his hand snapped to cover his mouth in a futile attempt to shove the words back in. Just as he started to feel woozy from the sudden blood rush to his head, Tajima answered.

Turning to look Hanai full in the face, his expression deadly serious he began. "I love Hanai for many reasons because you put up with me no matter what, because you don't let me get away with anything, because you are there for me are only a small few. The qualities that I love about you are infinite. You are responsible, you stay strong for the team when you want to fall apart, you help others even when you are busy, you always try your hardest in everything, you're smart, you're patient, and an added bonus, you're damn sexy." He finished with a grin.  
"You're my Captain now and forever." He whispered as he placed a chaste kiss on Hanai's lips.  
Hanai sat there stunned with stinging eyes. He threw himself at Tajima smashing his lips to his. They then entered yet another heated scene of love making.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After cleaning up and getting dressed Mihashi and Abe headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Mrs. Mihashi was away for the entire weekend luckily for them. Mihashi made a simple breakfast of rice omelettes. As they ate Abe was thinking hard. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice when Mihashi cleared the dishes, cleaned them, and put them away.  
"Abe?"  
"..."  
"Abe!"  
"...."  
"T-TAKAYA!"  
Abe jumped. He looked at Mihashi whose face was as pink as the roses he had seen along the way.  
"Yes? Sorry, I was thinking."  
"What about?"  
"Why did you suddenly get dominant? It's wonderful! I'm just curious as to what triggered it." Abe rushed.  
Mihashi's face became a fierce red.  
"I-I overheard your conversation w-with Hanai. I-I couldn't let you think I hated you! I love you! And I always wanted to do that but I was scared. But I had t-to show you how much I love you and need you!"

"How did you ov- Tajima! That little.,." Abe groaned in his hands. 'I'll get him later.' He thought.

"Please don't be mad with him! This couldn't have happened now without him!"

Abe smiled. "Ok."

The kissed and went to cuddle on the couch. Abe plotting his revenge silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment ideas so I can try to get my brain flowing?


End file.
